It is numbingly difficult searching for words to match my thoughts in expressing how much you mean to me, ... the loss of you has sunken my heart.

I feel empty, a contrast to my home which is filled with your handmade gifts, divine trinkets, fancy holiday souvenirs brought with love spanning many years. 
I cherish all that you gave, in true Auntie Janet style every gift beautifully presented wrapped in crisp colourful tissue, placed in a luxury basket/box/bag punctuated with a fresh ribbon perfectly bowed. Even the simplest of items was given the Fortnum & Mason white glove treatment. 
Imagining you perusing European city markets, your favourite stores spotting an item and saying to yourself  ‘Collette would like that’. 
This is what makes your gifts so special, it’s knowing you thought of me. I shall miss receiving your kindness.

The past 12 months has truly been a year of two halves, the greatest and hardest. 
Once we were able to form our own support bubble to meet outside we spent 6 months of lockdown enjoying weekend garden champagne lunches and dusk dinners. The four of us laughing loudest along Lullington Garth ( constantly having to remind ourselves to ‘... hush, the neighbours!’ ) with Otto & Scout jumping in and out of their doggy paddling pool to then dry off in the glorious summer heat of 2020. 
Our lockdown year was almost perfect until your heart could no longer beat and you bid us farewell last month. 

Selfless to the end using your last moments and breathe telling us to ‘rest, eat, sleep, go home, I’m fine’.  

I am angry and hurt for you. 

There was still so much life for you to live, the multiple holidays you and mom had mapped out ... there wasn’t a continent you hadn’t planned on revisiting together.  

I shall take care of mom, por por and the family. They nickname me ‘Mini Janet’ a compliment I dare to accept or could ever live up to ... but I will try my hardest to emulate your blooming kindness, smiling gentleness & boundless generosity to all. 

It is now your time to rest and to be at peace. 

Missing you immensely, 

Collette x